The Stamps in my Passport Are Still Cool Though...

M and I finally sat down last night and planned our travel for the rest of the year. Traveling for work has picked up quite a bit for the both of us, so The Planner in me had to get things as settled as possible.

It was only after our conversation that we realized how bizarre it was. For example:

Me: "Well, I have to be in Singapore that week, and you'll be in China. Then you have to be in Bangkok the next Monday, so maybe I can meet you in Bangkok that Friday and we can spend the weekend there..."

Or this:

M: "You have to be in Houston for two weeks, so maybe I'll go ahead and try to go to Dubai and then hit Mumbai on my way back to KL..."

WTF? Is this really my life?

A part of me wants to pinch myself that I have these opportunities. There's a part of me that still feels fifteen years old, and when we have these kinds of conversations, I feel like a grown up, lucky and adventurous, like I have graduated into some semi-adult life or something.

A bigger part of me is getting so unbelievably tired of hotels. I used to like hotels. They felt very decadent, and raiding the mini bar for cashews was pure indulgence. These days, I just miss my pillow. I miss not living out of a suitcase. I miss being home. I miss our being home together for any major stretch of time. But aside from work travel, I also feel like I'm pressuring myself to see as much of Asia as I can while we are here. So while some of this stress is work related, I'm responsible for quite a little bit of it myself.

So some people might be envious, I guess. I mostly just feel frazzled and tired.

Our first anniversary is coming up, and it falls on a four day weekend. What a perfect opportunity to take a trip together! Or so we originally thought. But after thinking about it, the thought of dealing with luggage, airports and passport control is just completely unappealing to us right now. We decided, instead, to take a road trip (road trip!) in our new car somewhere. We don't know where yet, but not having to deal with the stress of air travel on our anniversary will be worth it, and we will still feel like we are celebrating.

I feel guilty, like I shouldn't be complaining. I always face this guilt, this "there are starving children in China so eat your vegetables" kind of guilt; I know this is a great opportunity, that there are people who would trade places with me in a heartbeat. I know this. But there are days, especially when things feel most crazy, when I yearn for our former life - our backyard, lazy Sunday evenings, spur of the moment barbecues, and a slower pace of life.

Oh yeah...and Target.