One Year Ago

One year ago today, M left for Malaysia.

I remember the day he told me he was approached about a possible job opportunity in KL. It was early May - we had just gotten engaged and were just beginning to plan our wedding. The timing wasn't right. I guess it never really is, you know? It's always one thing or another. For whatever reason (I think it was all the heavy drinking), we considered it. Planning a wedding and an international move in five months? Sounds like fun and ever so stress free! Sign me up! And while you're at it, can I have that Lexapro prescription now?

We spent endless nights talking about it, weighing the pros and cons. With my HR background, I found myself riding a fine line of supporting fiancée and HR advisor. I knew that this would be great for his career, but I didn't want to influence his decision. It was partly my decision too, I know. I just didn't want to push him into it, and I didn't want him to resent me if he ended up hating it. We ended up making the decision the way couples should - together. He took the job, and then the fun really began :)

With planning a wedding and planning a move, I was insanely busy, which I think sheltered me from the reality of the situation. It was all about checklists and organizing. I didn't have time to worry about anything other than what was next on my list. The wedding was the focal point for us; the move was secondary in our minds. We didn't want it to overshadow the wedding in any way. It almost felt like I had been swept up in a tidal wave and things were just kind of happening. Auto-pilot. I was just trying to keep up and keep my head above water.

One year ago today, M left for KL. It was strange to know that we were about to be married, yet here I was staying behind while he left, but it couldn't be helped. I had to finish planning our wedding, which was, at that point, six weeks away. I had to wrap up my current job, and was busily crossing my fingers that the job that my company had said they would work out for me in KL was miraculously going to materialize. I had a house to pack, a cat to find a home for, two cars to sell, finances to get in line, an air shipment to gather, designate items for storage, all while going to dress fittings and frantically finalizing wedding details. I know M felt guilty, but he shouldn't have. The situation just was what it was. He had plenty of things to deal with as well, with his new job and setting up our apartment in KL. So I, in turn, felt just as guilty. I was busy and all, but I had a support system, and I was in familiar territory. M was out in the wild, so I think it must have been harder for him than it was for me.

The next six weeks went by in a blur. I oversaw the house pack. I finalized all the little wedding details that you forget about until the last minute. I transitioned out of my job duties as work. I had picked up steam and I was on a mission! I had a list, and by God, those things were going to get checked off. Food poisoning tried to derail me a couple of weeks before the wedding (again, timing is one funny bitch), but after a quick stint in the ER, I was back on track. I was on a mission.

And you know the rest of the story. The wedding went off without a hitch, on a perfectly gorgeous October day, the day before the sky decided to dump 15 inches of rain on Houston (timing owed me one, I suppose). Here we are, one year later from the day M boarded a plane heading for Asia, immersed in this new chapter in our lives.

What a difference a year makes.