Adventures in Koh Samui

Whew! We are back from Koh Samui! After a weekend of sun, sand, Thai headbanging and errant elephants, we finally made it home around midnight on Sunday night, thanks to a flight delay out of Koh Samui.

Let's see, where to start? We arrived at the hotel in Koh Samui around 8pm or so on Thursday night. We ventured down to the bar, where we were serenaded by a Thai lounge singer singing all the best cover tunes. Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, Simon & Garfunkel...I was in karaoke heaven. Of course, it wasn't karaoke, but that didn't stop me and M from singing along. "Sweet Caroline...bah, bah, BAH..." Yes, we are obnoxious Americans.

Friday we got up and decided to go for a little elephant ride. Our ADD-challenged elephant deserves a separate post entirely.

Later that evening, we ventured down to the main village of Lamai. Koh Samui is laid out for a party. Beach bars, little roadside bars, lots of restaurants and great sightseeing. After visiting a couple of bars and grabbing dinner, we found a great roadside bar called the Longhorn bar, complete with burnt orange stools and cheap drinks. It was just like Texas, well, except for the transvestites and all. (Wait! Austin has its own resident cross dresser by the name of Leslie. I think he ran for mayor at one point.) We sat by the road, people watching and playing the "Is it a man or a woman?" game. We finally got ready to go and wandered down the street, where we ate the best hawker Nutella and banana crepe ever. Then we heard the music coming from a bar nearby.

We wandered into the bar, where this great cover band Ovada was playing. Black rocker outfits with one of the best lead guitar players we had ever seen - and she was this tiny Thai chick. She was hot. I'm just saying. The chicks would swing their hair in a circle in time with the music, and I think she played the guitar with her teeth at one point while sitting on the dude's shoulders. That, or I had too much Jaeger. (Jaeger!!) They were playing Deep Purple, Jimi Hendrix, Queen...M was back in his mullet days. We noticed a couple sitting near the end of the bar, and when they were not simulating sex at the bar, they were sucking each other's fingers. Seriously. Blondy McCheerleader wasn't digging the old school jams, but shit, the minute they played Bon Jovi, she decided it was time to daaaanncccce!!! So she got up in front of the stage and put on a show for everyone. Too bad she was the only one dancing. Even worse that it was the white girl dance. Step together, step together, clapping her hands over her head and that whole bit. Between their soft core porn, her dancing, and the great music, we were thoroughly entertained. Of course, the band had to play Stairway to Heaven. Sigh. Is this the best Led Zepplin song you can play? I think not.

The next day, we went down to the main part of Lamai beach, which was prettier than the beach where we stayed. We found a great little beach bar that made boozy, Windex colored drinks, and decided then that we were going to chuck it all, move to an island, open a beach bar and start a papaya farm. The Swedish guy that owned the bar was living the dream, man, living the dream. Later that night we went back and the sky decided to pour all night, so we hung out in this little bar with the owner and the gang from Cheers, aka his bar buddies. We drank many, many adult beverages and then the owner whipped up some Swedish pancakes for all of us. I'm telling you, we are opening a beach bar. Anyone want to join us?

The last day we hung out by the pool and recovered from our weekend. I need a vacation to recover from my vacation. Why do I delude myself into thinking that I am still 20? But we did have a lot of fun, and even though I’m in Singapore on business now, my suitcase still has sand in it :)