Friday, May 18, 2007

"Make New Friends, But Keep the Old..."

Isn't it odd that there are certain people in your life that you stay friends with, and then there are others that you just drift apart from? I'd like to think that for those that you aren't really in touch with, unless the friendship ended on bad terms, you could shoot them an email and say hello. No bad blood (or drawn blood, for that matter), you just used to be friends and life tossed you in different directions. So what's the harm in touching base with them and seeing how life is treating them?

I think guys are generally better at this. M has friends from elementary school, high school, old college buddies and work buddies that he keeps in touch with. Years can pass and it's like nothing has changed. There's never any weirdness or hurt feelings. They just generally pick up where they left off.

I guess it's different for women, or maybe it's just different for me. There are some friends that I have had for a long time, and it's like nothing has changed. Then there are some others...

See, I'm a bit bothered, because over the past few months I have emailed two old friends that I genuinely would like to see how they are, and they haven't emailed me back. I know that sounds whiny. Maybe I'm more sensitive than I thought, huh?

One was my best friend in high school and the other was a friend I met at a job in Texas. The first one I emailed in January, after I found out that she had gotten married the same day I did. I know the email address was good (my mom got it from a family member of hers who told her about her marriage - what can I say, we are from a small town) and the second one I emailed about a month ago. Now the second one I have kept in touch with over the years, but I can sort of see him going all "I can't be friends with a woman!" now that he is married with a kid, which I think is total bullshit, by the way. Reach down there and locate your balls, my friend.

I guess when it comes down to it, I feel a bit rejected. I don't know. When I have gotten emails from old friend, I have been pleased that they thought of me. I have emailed them back and we have caught up on life. We may not be close or email regularly, but I guess I'm of the mind that as long as a friendship didn't end badly, why not email and catch up? Good times were shared, what's the harm in saying hello?

Hell, maybe I just have PMS. Who knows?


At May 18, 2007 at 9:17 PM , Anonymous another sarah said...

One is silver and the other gold.

We got an invitation to a baby shower for the wife of one of my husband's friends from highschool earlier this week. He's one of those friends that my husband can not talk to for ages and then just pick right back as if no time has passed.

With my 15 year HS reunion approaching, I've gotten back in touch with a lot of people I grew up with over the last few months and have tried to be good about responding to emails quickly. It's not likely that I'll develop strong friendships with any of them at this point in my life, but it's nice to know what folks are up to. Yeah, I know about that small town stuff too.

At May 18, 2007 at 9:56 PM , Anonymous donna said...

People are weird. Sometimes they suck.

And yes, men do go about this all differently than we do. I'll never understand how they do it.

At May 19, 2007 at 4:17 AM , Anonymous triad 1 said...

You will always be my friend. Who won't email you? Use code if you don't want to name names. :)

At May 20, 2007 at 4:48 PM , Blogger akula said...

Funny and yet engaging blog you have here, I've been there, but as a Malay Malaysian expat in other countries. Sad to say, I didnt record any of my experinces.

My blog.

Living and Travelling Malaysia -
content like the title suggested
I dedicate a whole post about taxi drivers in Malaysia. You'll love it.

Nasi Lemak and Nescafe Tarik
my view on Malaysian life


At May 21, 2007 at 3:18 AM , Anonymous reese said...

oy vey. I hear this. I'm with Donna, too...the friendships among men amaze me. I am often envious.

I've managed to filter many of my friendships to the point where the good ones, even if we lost touch for a while, wouldn't be all 'weird' if we reconnected again. Those sort of women seem to be difficult to find, but when I find them, I work hard to keep them--they're gems.

I'm sorry your friends didn't reply. Seems a bit catty to me :(

At May 21, 2007 at 10:21 PM , Blogger Mr Hobo said...

I guess that's the difference between men and women ... men get stuck in the past ... whilst women move on.


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