I Heart America

Since arriving in the US last Sunday....

7: The number of Christmas gifts bought
9: The number of cars on 290 that sped up when I tried to pass them on the way to/from Austin
0: The number of times I gave them the finger
9: The number of times I wanted to
1: The number of used condoms in the parking lot of the Love's truck stop on 290
6: The number of vegetables that came with my entree at Cafe Lux (Who says Americans are excessive?)
1: The number of railroad crossings that came down on my rental car while sitting at a ridiculously long Houston light
6: The number of donuts consumed
3: The number of them that were chocolate with sprinkles
1,000: The number of times that I have gotten in someone's way or caused a minor pedestrian traffic jam because I am walking on the LEFT of everything
5: The number of times people have asked me "So, are you actually going to HAVE the baby in Malaysia?"
2: The number of near meltdowns
1: The number of times I totally lost my shit
3: The number of times I was told how hot my anti-embolism stockings were. You know you want a pair.